What I Wanted to be When I Grew Up

Growing up I had many dreams such as many little boys do; to be a police officer, a fireman, a soldier, the President of the United States etc. But if you ever saw the 80s tv show Airwolf then you will understand the dream that stuck with me for decades. Now Airwolf was a for t.v. helicopter. The real fighting machine was and still is the Apache. I fell madly in love with the Apache helicopter and wanted to become an Apache helicopter pilot. Sadly my dreams were to never become reality as my dreams of flying high took an entirely different meaning, but that's a story for a different blog.

The one thing I didn't want to be growing up was a pastor! As a matter of fact, I didn't step foot in the door of a church unless a girl I liked invited me and even then all I concentrated on was trying to get her attention. No, a pastor was not in my cards. As a matter of fact, I could only hold a job for about 6 months on the average. I think my longest run was in a restaurant kitchen for two years. I can't count how many jobs I quit on the first day or the first payday. If I could sum up my two greatest skills they would be committing crimes (and I wasn't that great) and cooking (which I'm not too bad at). But it was the life of crime that I chose and the prison system where I ended up.

Funny enough, that is where I believed God was calling me to become a preacher/pastor. With enthusiasm, I wrote to my then hometown pastor who very quickly discouraged me from such an endeavor. Well, that pissed me off just enough to pursue it with all I had! And so I did. Getting out of prison I became a pastor and worked with the homeless, teenagers, people in recovery, married couples, I was on staff at a church and even started a little church of my own. Sounds great, doesn't it?

After almost ten years in ministry, there are days I really wish I would have been in an Apache helicopter blowing stuff up. There are some days where it really seems like going back to committing crimes would get the bills paid on time. There are days when it seems like going and clocking in at a restaurant kitchen and working my 8 hours would be less stressful and exhausting. I never wanted to be a pastor. God called me and honestly at the time, it sounded really neat and special. But maybe now I am beginning to understand why that pastor tried to persuade me not to. Maybe it wasn't because he didn't love me... maybe it was because he did.