Being a Nobody

What's wrong with wanting to be a well know, and well liked for that matter, pastor? Doesn't every pastor want a full parking lot, few to no empty chairs, and faithful givers? Doesn't every pastor want people whom he guides to want to go out into the depths of the darkness and get their hands messy in ministry?

I think about Jesus and his three compadres Peter, James, and John. Man to be Jesus' right-hand man must have been something. But even these three fought over who was going to be the greatest. I ever wonder if anyone following Jesus just wanted to be a little bit closer, known a little bit more, may be called by name even. I feel like this sometimes, yes beyond all my theological correctness. I know that I have the very same Jesus everyone else does, but sometimes... most of the time... okay all of the time I desire to be Peter, James, or John. I am beginning to come to a hard truth that maybe, just maybe... I'm not.

Then all of my theological correctness goes out the window and I am stuck wondering just who in the heck am I then... in the grand scheme of things? Does what I do matter? Do miracles really happen? Am I even following Jesus? And I ask that honestly. I believe that I am and have been for some time but why do things look so different for others than they do for me?

So today I am sitting in a VBS music recital and the kids are singing about the feeding of the 5000. Honestly, I am halfway tuned out with all that's going on in my head. But I kept hearing "But I'm a nobody", "But I'm a nobody" about six times before one of the kids says "And that's exactly who God uses!" Now mind you, I have no context about what they are talking about but I know what I heard. And I wish I could tell you it was like a shout from heaven, but it was a still small voice in my heart that asked me "Are you willing to be a nobody, George?"

Andrew is mentioned one time in the New Testament other than the roll call of disciples. What was the thing Andrew goes down in history for? Bringing Peter to Jesus! That's all we ever hear of what Andrew ever did, though I am sure he did many great things for the Kingdom. But I bet if you ask even some of the best "scholars" around to name off the disciples, Andrew isn't going to make the top five. But what he did changed lives!

Right now, I don't know if I'm okay with being a nobody, a background guy. I mean, don't get me wrong... I don't want my name in lights or anything, I want to lift Jesus up... I just want the stage to do so. Maybe I don't get it because I will make it about me and Jesus knows that? Either way, I better get to answering His question on if I'm okay being a Nobody of Jesus.