When Giving All You Have Doesn't Seem To Be Enough

I guess it makes me feel alone. It makes me feel as if no matter what I do there is always a better way of doing it. All of my original ideas that I can get excited about get the steam taken right out from under them as improvements are "suggested" or ideas are offered for "consideration".
Is it just me? Am I only competing against my own assumptions? Or is there an underlying message hidden just beneath the tone of the conversations? What does one do when you are giving all you have, but it never seems to be good enough?


Lately, everyone I have spoken with about my struggles, from friends to my personal counselor, have all pointed to the same source of my constant tension. Though I have been educated,of sort, in Identity Theology I have seemingly slipped back into performance based acceptance (PBA). I suppose I thought all the right information could protect me from the pitfalls of PBA, but here I am trying to gain my security and significance from other places than Christ Himself.  So, where do I, where do we, go from this point?

Unique You
Without trying to get all clichey on you, I want you to know that God has made you unique. There is on other you! Sure we all have similarities, but none of us are the same! I know I get all tied up in PBA when I am trying to be like someone else instead of operating in who and how God has created me.  Psalm 139: 13 tells us,

  For You formed my inward parts;

You wove me in my mother's womb.

Think about the sheer awe factor in just that verse! Before our own mothers were to know what we looked like, sounded like, and even smelled like God was there creating a plan and a purpose for our lives. A dear friend of mine tells a story of finding out his son would be born with Gastroschisis and how this was one of the key verses he and his wife held to during the pregnancy... That "God doesn't miss a stitch". Jesus tells us that

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered

Matt. 10:30

You Are Worth It

One of my biggest Christianese pet peeves is when we hear we weren't worth Christ dying on the Cross. As if the sacrifice was some big pity gift. We'll hear how low and worthless we are as humans and how God just had to do something besides scrapping the entire project we call humanity. Wow! That dish goes down quite delightfully as you feel you aren't measuring up. What a misconception! Being "worth it" and "deserving" are two totally different things. Listen to one of the most quoted verses ever, John 3:16

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life

Sounds to me like we were pretty worth it for God to send His Son to become sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him! (2nd. Cor. 5:21) I mean think about that for a second... What ever you are doing, no matter who is criticizing it, and no matter what you think about it, God not only died for you, He took all that was bad about you and gave you all that was good about Him! You were so worth it!

You've Got a Great Boss

No matter where you are, how low you may be slumming or how high you may be flying, God knows your heart. He knows the desires you have for the work He has placed before you... because He put those desires there! What? Did you think you created them? God hardwired you to be passionate about the things your passionate about! My biggest problem is being passionate about them in the face of insecurity and inferiority. How about you?

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.

Colossians 3:23-34 

Whether you have a great earthly boss or a horrible one, you truly do not work for them anyway. The work you do is unto the Lord. I believe that sometimes this will cause you to speak up even in the fear of rejection and sometimes this will cause you to know when to remain silent because God knows  the work you have done. Just remember Who you serve and who you service. Whom you serve is your Master. Whom you service are those The Master places before you to be of service. Don't get the two confused. 

I truly hope this wasn't to far out in left field for you, but there I go seeking your approval! I wish I was better at living in my identity In Christ than I am at circling the PBA cycle, but I am a work in progress. Don't be afraid to comment and share with us how you deal with PBA and reaching the point where your "all" doesn't seem like enough.