Those Who Draw Lines

"It's either them or me" 

"You're with me or against me"

 "You need to choose a side"

"There's been a line drawn, don't cross it"

These statements and those like it are things you should never hear from a friend. Unfortunately, in the face of insecurities, relational boundaries,  and broken loyalties, the line gets drawn in the sand and a friend calls you to choose. Happened to you? What do you do? How do you respond?

In my late teen years there were two females who were best of friends. A feud broke out between them and one began drawing the line in the sand for all of the mutual friends. People began to choose and relationships became strained. These two friends were like sisters to me, so the thought of choosing was almost impossible to comprehend. The more I reflected on the line in the sand the more I realized that the other friend had not called me to choose. I began to see that her friendship had no contingency plan, no ulterior motives, and no conditions attached to it. The friend who drew the line had made my choice for me.

I wish I could say that this was the litmus test for my future years, but it wasn't. I had a few other occasions where the line was drawn and I did choose. The results never ended well. It seems that every time someone drew a line and I chose, I lost. As I got older it seemed the lines became canyons of great division. One of my first lessons in relational success became one of my biggest points of relational failure.

I would be delighted to tell you that when I became a Christian this little battle between friends was non-existent, but the crazy thing is it was way more prevalent! It seemed as though Christians were professional "linebackers". If you crossed the friendship line with the "othersiders" you became an exile, a trader, a spy or what ever label the linebackers can come up with.

 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men

Romans 12:18

I suppose it could be argued that it isn't always possible....well if we are depending on us it could very well seem that way. Yet, what is impossible for man is possible for God. What ever happened to reconciliation anyway?

As of late... in the last few years I had a Christian Leader tell me they were drawing a line in the sand and it was time for everyone to choose sides. As a matter of fact the exact words were "choose a side or step aside." My heart sunk that day and a little each day that followed as I watched the power of the Gospel seep out of this leaders life. Each authentic relationship they had (including this one) fizzled as the demand became more eminent. Sadly, I would have followed this leader to the end of my days had the focus been on the Gospel and not the line in the sand.