Hurt people, hurt people. Sad but true. When it comes to pain you either experience a lot or a little, you give or receive. Yet, it is all in how we learn to deal with our pain that determines the collateral damage.The Darkside of projection can sway even the most noblest of Jedi into the coldest Sith lord. If our pain bleaks our emotions and controls our decisions making process we become the heavy iron handed tyrant looking to conquer kingdoms. In the saga, Darth Vader was simply a hurt person who projected his hurt on others. Do you ever side with Vader?
It has taken me a lot of painful experiences, some good books, wise counsel and the sheer power of God for me to learn the damaging power of projection. Needless to say, I am no Jedi when it comes to the inner persuasion to project my pain and hurt onto someone else. I, too, know Vader quite well. As I sit here typing this I can hear that famed and feared Imperial March "dun dun dadun dun dadun..."
Defensively, projection comes in the sense of wanting to protect yourself when you feel threatened. Oddly enough this can be the lesser of two evils. Lesser because once the threat is seen as nonthreatening, the projection has the possibility to cease. In my early years of ministry I experienced defensive projection. I was deeply hurt by a pastor friend and pretended everything was fine. My pain grew deep within me and bitterness arose for not only the man, but all who went to his church or anyone who reminded me of him. When my mentor's concern for me probed my heart I would show no pain on the surface. Yet every chance I got, I would defend myself as a victim of religiosity.
Offensively, projection goes to it's extreme. We take our pain and use it as a motivator to cause others pain. I have known this experience more times than I'd like to admit and God has a constant E.K.G. active in this area of my life. Offensive can be overt as the "Galactic Fleet" applying pressure for us to fold. Or covert, using our pain to make others feel guilty and shameful in order to manipulate them into submission. Offensive projection is more damaging because it's not done out of a need to protect self, but out of the need to hurt others.
Projection has the potential to cripple kingdoms or relationships. Pain is a heavy weapon to wield. Those who do are likely feared and rarely respected. Our need to defend or control can consume us beyond our ability to account for and own the pain we cause. Intrinsically, the Gospel weaves it's way into our depths to heal the pain we so desperately try to deal with. Transformation from the Darkside to the Light comes at the cost of "I'm right" paid for by reconciliation.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
A simple verse that seems to have the balance of the universe attached to it. If we are honest with ourselves we will take note of a little bit of Vader in us all. The Bible calls it our flesh. We either want to defend ourselves in the face of pain or use our pain to inflict personal, emotional, or physical atrocities on others. Being in ministry, I wish we were free of these transactions, but we're not. I hope to be more on the receiving end than the giving these days. I know Vader too well to fall for the self preservation or guilt and shame tactics.
Remembering I too was once a Vader to Christ, I pray His E.K.G. upon my heart will keep me kind, tender, and quick to forgive. Won't you?
A few books that helped in my Vader moments:
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